6 month post-op update

*Disclaimer: I wrote this in May, sorry just now getting around to posting.

I know I've been delinquent in updating, as I said in the previous post, so here's how things have been the past 6 months...Soon after our Boston trip in November, the holidays were upon us.  They were extra special this year as we decided to give the kids an "experience" rather than stuff for Christmas.  They are all huge Harry Potter fans, and have been begging to go to HP world at Universal Studios.  So for Christmas they got their owls and Hogwarts letters, and we left for Universal.  It was an amazing trip that I will remember forever.

Since then, we've just been busy with the grind of school and work.  Jacob and Luke are well into baseball season right now, which started off very special as Jacob was given the "Courage Award" for persevering his health challenges to play.  The league where they play does this every year, honoring a child with this award, and has a special time during the opening ceremonies of the season to give it to them.  This was so amazing to see him honored in this way, and we are thankful to the league for recognizing him and doing this.  We have had a lot of fun this season and are thankful for his health to be able to play. 

As May rolled around, so did the 6 month mark since his procedure, meaning it was time for his imaging.  We scheduled it here at our local children's hospital, and sent the images to BCH to his doctor for review. I was very excited as our local hospital just built a new outpatient center.  There Jacob was able to get his imaging done in our new EOS system which previously he has only had at BCH.  It utilizes lower dose radiation and produces higher resolution imaging.  I was very impressed and proud at our hospital's commitment to expanding the technology we offer to give the best for the kids in our region.

As you may remember, the last trip our doctor was so pleased with how Jacob was doing, he hinted at the possibility of skipping the next treatment and allowing him to go a year between trips.  I was afraid to get my hopes up too much, but I won't lie, I had my hopes up.  Though we will go up there as often as possible to keep my boy healthy, to the point of moving up there if we have to; I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't love to go a year between trips instead of every 6 months.  So we just got the good news this past week: the lesion growth has been minimal, and appears stable, so we do get to skip this treatment cycle.  We are so excited!  So we are going to look forward to the summer ahead, and not think about BRBNS for awhile longer.  We will certainly have to go in the fall, as he does not feel comfortable going longer than a year without seeing Jacob.  We tried that before and lost a lot of ground, so we don't want to make that mistake again.  But I am thankful for this break and am going to enjoy my boy being well.  Thank you sincerely to all of you who have prayed for him, especially of late.  I know I am quiet about him until something is looming, but know that I am ever grateful for you all who hold thought and prayer for him, whether I ask or not.  I love you all, and keep praying that we can continue to enjoy Today's Miracle.

To my baby on your birthday...

My sweet baby Luke,

Today you turn 1 year old.  I'm not sure how that happened, or if I'm ok with it.  But you are one all the same.  I had no idea how much I would need you this year, little boy.  When we ignored all the people who thought we were crazy for wanting 4 kids.  When instead of "Congratulations!", we heard, "Aww was it an accident?"  We knew you were meant for our family.  We were not to be swayed in our resolve to add another, not knowing what was in store, but knowing someone was missing.  And then we realized it was a reality.  You were on your way.  I had such a perfect pregnancy with you.  I felt such a beautiful mixture of joy, thankfulness, nostalgia, and sadness that this was the last time I would carry a baby under my heart, feel it kick, and dream of who it was that grew within me.

 We couldn't wait to meet you, but it somehow it ended too soon for me.   And there you were. Making a quick entrance on a perfect July day.  My love for you amazed me as it had 3 times before...so immediate, so fierce. How fully you filled my heart.

I loved introducing you to your siblings.  They were so proud of you, each one is their own way. Protective of you, and at the ready to "help" take care of you.  Marveling at each of your little accomplishments.  They love you so much, buddy.  

You came into our lives, hearts, and home, bringing a peace and contentment that enveloped the house. But we had no idea exactly how much we would need you.  This year has been a difficult one for us. But every day you were a breath of fresh air to your mama, who many days struggled to keep head above water.  The consistency of your needs.  The gentleness and sweetness of your nature.  Always happy.  Ever content.

Ready with a smile, a sweet baby laugh, a sweet little hand reaching up for my face.  So many months, you kept me grounded in the now, my littlest son.  How could I sink under the weight of worry I carried with your little hands reaching always for me.  Your little smile beckoning me.  Your eyes following my every move.  I didn't know how much your "needing" could be just what I needed. I owe you so much, my Lukie.  Such a special baby you are.

And with every passing day, you grew more into your own.  This growth of a tiny human into their own individual person, is a process that both entertains and amazes.  I pray we are the parents you need, and learn to be what you need.  You are your own person, not just one of our brood.  You are so fun.  "Voicing" your opinions, stretching your limits, exploring your world keeps me on my toes every day.

But Luke, this first year of yours was also filled with so many "lasts" for your mama.  And I know they will keep on coming.  But I will celebrate them with you, as my heart breaks a little.

Keep growing, my sweet "number last."  I love you so much little baby Luke.  My heart is full today as we celebrate you. May you experience all the joy you bring to our family.