Saturday, July 19, 2014

Happy Birthday Jacob!

Today Jacob is 3 years old. 3 years since I laid eyes on you for the first time.  So much of my carrying you was fraught with sickness, worry.  But I haven't forgotten the beauty and love that still lived in those months. I cherish them.



And of course in Jake fashion, you were born on your own time in a delivery riddled with chaos.  But you arrived, and I knew immediately you needed to go exactly where I didn't want you to go. How my NICU friends worked to get you to straighten up, but you were not gonna fly right, so away you went.




Looking back now, how thankful I am for your wimpy white male self.  Who knows how long it would've taken for us to discover your secret you carried without the thorough examination of your NICU doctors and nurses.  The journey to MRI and discovery of your vascular lesion would have surely been much longer, and thus longer to your diagnosis of BRBNS. I am wholly thankful for the providence that led to your early delivery and NICU stay.



And today, on the anniversary of your birth, I reflect on that day and those that have followed.  I never could've imagined all these 3 years would hold.  But through it all, you've been my Jake.  I am honored to be chosen to be your mommy, my one in a million boy.



You are my Jacob.  Strong and beautiful, fiery and loving.  You bring so much to our home, mischief, noise, chaos, but with it joy, love, and laughter. So much laughter. 




I never knew the path we would travel with you, nor do I know now where it will lead.  But I know this. Where it leads you, son, we will go with you.  I will walk beside you, carry you, fight for you, and remember to always release you. I will not hold you back because of fear of your condition.  I will say, jump in again! And run faster, baby!  And swing higher, and hang upside down, get dirty, and all the wild things your little boy heart desires.








I would never want you to be anyone but who you are, Jake.  And though my heart may skip a beat as I watch you explore this world and at times, tear it apart, I will cheer you on and be proud of the relentless way you tackle life.  These 3 years of watching you grow, and caring for you, I pray are but a moment in light of all the good that is ahead of you.  I asked you on the 4th of July what your favorite part of the day was, the parade, the races, the fireworks, homeade ice cream...you simply replied, "the moon."  Keep looking up at it, Jaker, for I love you all the way to it, and back.  Happy Birthday, sweet boy.






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